Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Going home: for the next generation

Once again I made it back home. Alone this time to clean my house. Paper stuff,bags and bags of reading material that just clutter. This was my second purging of collected paperwork. The first time I found it necessary to discard boxes of papers collected over the years. Those boxes of paper represented my procrastinating trait. But my mission this trip home was to rid myself of stuff that I really wanted to keep..or delay throwing away.

Getting rid of these papers might improve the living condition within my home and improve the appearance of my house. I know it was just paper but it still my personal stuff. Reams of paper, personal stuff written by me, and left behind past and uncompleted projects. In every room you would find some stockpiled collection. Hordes of clutter.
It was just paper..piles of papers.

As, I threw out these bundles, each room had something to say.. The years, I spent moving toward something, was all in that house. Layers of shattered stuff, appeared as validating stuff that I really wanted to keep. I found my LSAT score, my acceptance letters into law school, my two diplomas. All mingled with all the pictures that I had collected over the years. I sat in the rooms with photos and paintings that reminded me of years past. I found birth certificates and foot prints of my children. I realized that some stuff, I really wanted to keep, was for others.

Slowly, my piles of other stuff exited the back and front door. It was to be either destroyed or given away. First, the lamps and the plant stand would have to make room for me. Next, I sent the stove and refrigerator to the metal collectors. Now it was time for the family buffet to exit.but not in the same way as my shattered fu dog door stopper. A dog that represented a false sense of commitment.

As, I watched the buffet being carted away, I pondered when did furniture become more valuable than the lives of a family member? When did family members become first pile trash of discarded trash, easily disposable? When did family members become so heartless to tacitly scheme to benefit off the misery of another family member? In other words when did they becomes so street-slick, crook and rogue? When did their lives become so filled with emotional material stuff, that other lives were not enough? Is this the future of the next generation?

Not in my house, as it falls apart, free of years of cluttered mess.

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