I think about this when, when a young man was killed in our hometown.
A friend told me about a book, The Measure of a Man. I remembered what she said about the measure of a man. I decided to blog about this message embodied in the title to get young folks to man up and recognize the fact that they are not street.
My friend used the phrase again during a conversation and she tells me I need to get the book and read it. The words stuck with me, as a challenge for me to give put this message out there for other men as a catch phrase to man up. I made a mental note to get the book from my library, soon...
Well, I was finally pushed to get the book because the main library where I spent a lot of time was due to close. So, I needed to get there before the move. I am told because of the move, I could keep the book for three weeks! Enough time to put it to the side ..to read later. But, my friend calls me and says something like, "guess what book Oprah has selected for her book club?" Well bingo it's "The Measure of a Man". I had the book, but was not compelled to read it.
So, after the Oprah book club announcement I decided well now it's really a good time for me to read the book just in case, I am selected to go on the show with my friend who has read the book years ago. I believe in miracles.
I decide to pace myself in reading the book. One chapter a day would allow me to read the book in a week. But that did not happen. I could not get into the book. I was too distracted. I could not get into Mr. Poitier, writing style, and I kept having flash backs about Poitier leavig his wife to marry a raced white woman. I had to read for a limited amount of time. I was curious and was wondering if he would address this issue. Besides I loved his movies, Guess who's coming to dinner, Who did not cheer for him in To sir with love, and They call me Mr. Tibbs?
So, I had to fight to find his personality that was on the screen in his writing. it was slow, but I eventually found it and once again I connected to him like some of his characters he played in his career. From the writing, he caused me to go in my mind to my childhood and meager beginnings. Meager beginnings, but surrounded by family, my great grandmother, my grandparents, my mother. The conversational tone used in the writing, like, you hear me, reminded me of a time when folks who cared about you talked to you, in such phrasings. Wise saying with only a few words, brief sentences and not a long lecture. But you found yourself remembering the message, twenty years later with ash on your face. Poitier called it a language shaped from a scarcity of money. Others, unable to give you guidance with this limited language did so by using a method used by his mama, a wham here and a wham there in taming this wide eyed optimism in believing you could defy all odds.
To read about this recklessness, as a youth, we take life for granted as we did things that were simply suicidal, ( like myself walking on the railing of a bridge above the train track, often, supported only by beams under my feet, but survived anyway). In the Measure of a Man, Poitier gives several moments of reflections, and it seems to have to do with water! A truly deadly force of nature. But some how you survive in spite of the harsh warnings that family offer to protect you from these outside influences, these dangers in the world coming from Family.
Poitier speaks of the family. The honor in sharing with family. The fact that one honors their mother and father with your own life work is what touched my heart in this book. It was not enough to read how his father provided for his family. The tears came from reading the diligence of a mother to make a way out of no way. The work of beating a rock into pebbles with a hammer. The determination, the sheer will, and the commitment to do such a task over and over again, fired my spirit into uncontrollable tears. How folks must push through to survive during difficult times.
I found myself quoting some of Mr. Poitier sayings, you hear me! In doing so I embraced the meaning my great grandmother, grandparents and mother in their saying, nobody said the road would be easy, it's on down the road for you, mingled with the new old a leaf changes overnight for my children and grandchildren. Life is tough. But what makes it easier, is having hopes that become a plan in which to set goals in overcoming rules or obstacles that tell you it is hopeless to do things differently.
My grandfather was my measure of a man. He encouraged me when others said who does she think she is to think differently. It was my grandfather's words that motivated me to try and see and envision a different world. It was his words through my mother life that inspired me, as he did not bend or swear when others lied on him. So was it my mother's path. Neither went to that place, when others attacked their right to be exactly who they were. My mother would say, do you think I chose to be born this way? Poitier reminded me of this...My grandfather life lived beat the hopelessness out of me no matter the obstacles that nature throws my way. Hopes and dreams goes beyond a belief system placed upon you by laws created to restrict ones ambition for going places where you unwanted. I joined a choir, and at that time, included today, could not carry a note, but my grandfather, made me think I could sing! Most favorable.
Poitier points out you will be rejected for doing such thing, with the question, who are you and where did you come from? And the answer is simply I am the one I choose to be and it helps to have family, friends and sometime enemies to motivate you. Poitier learned this early in life, I had forgotten this, thank you Mr. Poitier, as I continue to write over 600 posts on this blog.
Today, I read about Indiana being 3rd in homicides in the nation. This is not good news for African-Americans in my city, especially African-Americans males.
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