You would think you could blog with your personal identity intact. But folks, especially locals wanted to know your name, all the details even down to the who do you sleep with. Personal. Too personal.
But, I was new to blogging, I didn't know. Just words in a journal, I thought. I would have to learn about this part of the blogging world. Claiming your space, and telling folks enough, back off. Rude, crude and arrogant, normal.
All the time spent on attempting to build something. What? Extra Income!
Too much time, time investment with little in return. So, do I go? Do I stay?
This is what BlackLooks has to say about the situation:
This morning I switched on the computer and on to my pageflakes page and came across this post on Women of Color Blog echoing some of my own thoughts and feelings.
so we all know that occasionally, bloggers hit their wall and they just can’t do it any more. that it just builds up and builds up and builds up and finally, things collapse, and there’s the deep horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach that you want nothing more than to explode your blog or write a massive fuck you to the entire world?
Somewhere along the way things got lost. the bottom line is that really very few people actually give a fuck. SandMonkey was right after all - we live in a world of EXTREME APATHY. Who gives a shit about Khwezi, shackdwellers or violence against women, lesbians getting raped or young black men killing each other and then making t-shirts of the dead? Probably BL will be back sometime meanwhile a really big thanks to all the contributors - the space is here if you want - if not well it will either revive itself or die a slow death.
EXTREME APATHY? something. This is what Women of Color Blog has to say:
* I, just like all the other women of color out there, know who has been stealing our posts and our ideas.
* And no, it wasn’t “the patriarchy”.
* I just don’t have the drive any more–nobody gives a shit about mother’s being ripped from their children, nobody gives a shit if the cockroach slut is “rounded up” (and i don’t care if you hate that term, you’re still a bitch for saying it) and incarcerated like an animal, and EVERYBODY considers that a criminal latina may be lying when she speaks her fucking reality–oh, and I forgot–centralizing women in the immigration debate is dividing the community, letting the whites win, blah blah blah (as told to me by both male and female Latin@s).
I’m beginning to think that nubian was right–that there really is no place for a woman of color to speak specifically AS A WOMAN OF COLOR in this blogging world–blog posts directed solely toward other women of color get a handful of comments–blog posts to anybody, begging somebody to please, for god’s sake, pay attention–only get attention if they are angry and hostile and contain more energy than I’m willing to put into any more.
* And goddamn it, yes it bothers the shit out of me that when black or white women are shit on by sexism, men of color have something to say about it, but when latin@ mothers are fucking ripped from their children, imprisoned, deported–there’s silence–silence that is interrupted by nationalistic fuckheads that call me traitor and vendida. Is it being a traitor to remember your own? It’s being a traitor to love the your sisters and mothers and aunts and grandmothers?
i just don’t have the energy anymore for any of this. I know that this is a cycle, I know that everybody goes through it–the love/hate on/off thing is the biggest true-ism when it comes to blogging. maybe I’ll take a walk in the early morning mist tomorrow and feel better and ready to blog again at 9 AM–maybe I’ll never come back again. who knows. it’s probably some where in between. Who knows.
all I know is that it’s reflection time. and I do that best while by myself.
much love to all,
bfp
Yep, stealing posts and ideas. And we hardly take the time to comment on each others blog, while we peeks in on those who post up blackface and complain about what they are saying about us and doing to use. Yeah.
And then there is this:
Black blogger telling other black blogger who to link or association with on the blogosphere. Are you feeling me? Maybe not. So here let me explain it to you. When I pick up some reading material, I may read it or may not read it. I may agree with it, or I may not agree with it, but because the brothas or sista, married or dated raced white does not have anything to do with my opinion on the reading material. But don't read Evia? Who is Evia? Evia done done something that's being going on for a long long long time. But there was no blogs to blog about it.
So if Evia is on your link? You got to swear under oath that you don't hate black men. I'm laughing. I'm laughing.
Pageflakes has quite a few activities that would serve a more useful purpose. And as soon as I find time, I am going to to link to Evia. Oh yeah, because it ain't that many of us out here blogging and if it was we probably would have never heard of her.
One year, that's how long it took me to find Bronze Trinity, a blogger with a purpose, check out her pageflake. That's why I blog. And that's a lot of my time and I am sure other folks time like Evia.
Evia
I want to scream! Why did this have to happen? Why can't we just see when we are hurting eachother and stop? I think we as Black people have a lot of issues (myself included of course). We are afraid, we have low self-esteem, we need to project an image to the world that isn't our true selves, we go after eachother sometimes rather than seeing the big picture, we are so hurt by eachother we just destroy ourselves. People are getting so discouraged!
ReplyDeleteI started to read about Evia's blog on other people's blogs and I have yet to go there. I have many links on my blog to some people I have only visited once. I have no idea what things they have discussed in the past or what they believe. I don't even remember visiting most of them. This whole thing was blown way out of proportion. People can do what they want with their own blogs so they can link to who they want (can someone remove the links from someone else's blog? No, so then they are not in control).
There is a power struggle going on here where some people have a need to control whether their intentions a positive or negative. I shy away from power issues, especially with regards to blogging because so many of us are anonymous, we live far apart, we control our own blogs, we are not getting paid, and sometimes we just disappear for a while. I don't get why there is such a need to control when really we haven't done much yet. I guess people have the hope that the Afrosphere will be a huge driving force in society but we haven't proved that it is possible yet. We are like a company with many employees, ideas for products, but no major sales or demand for our product from outsiders. We have to develop our ideas and proposals and show them (or throw them) in people's faces so that the demand for our ideas and initives grows. We have to have some successes before the Afrosphere has any value or prestige.
I'm still not giving up hope though. People who are not listened to will just go away because they have let themselves get too frustrated. I just plan to ignore them. Hard work by a small group of dedicated individuals could draw others to our cause and they will want to work with us. There is a lot of apathy and hopelessness in Black people. It is like we are depressed and forget all the good things and only focus on the bad. If some of us keep trying others will follow or come back. Please don't give up hope :)
Credo,
ReplyDeleteBronze Trinity hs already said so much, and I don't want to repeat and repeat. So I'll just say please don't fold up shop. Believe me I understand the frustration, and I've only been doing this since February. But you write some wonderful stuff, and I'd hate to see it disappear. If you need to breathe, then go ahead and breathe sister.
But then come on back to us...
" Hard work by a small group of dedicated individuals could draw others to our cause and they will want to work with us. There is a lot of apathy and hopelessness in Black people. It is like we are depressed and forget all the good things and only focus on the bad"
ReplyDeletemark bey: Thank you for saying this Bronze I needed to hear this. Credo thank you for blogging this post because I have been feeling depressed about this very issue.
But when I read post like yours and I think about African warrior princes, like you and Bronze I feel renewed to work on my own proposal a little harder.
Credo please keep your head up your voice is needed and personally I really enjoy reading your blog. I stop by at least once a day even if I dont comment I read your post. Thank you.
I think that even if you are not blogging for a cause or purpose, you can get discouraged or just brain lock.
ReplyDeleteFrom reading your blog I get the impression that you have more influence outside the blogosphere. I think that it is much better for people to have a small group of local people to get together with to solve a problem. The logistics are much easier.
For me, I read blogs and find out that I am not the only one who thinks a certain way, I comment a lot because I want the conversation. I hope some blogs and comments will change minds, but too often they are preaching to the choir.
I try not to make too much of other people's links, because I link to some blogs I read but don't always agree or have anything in common with.
Bronzetrinity, keith, mark, hathor:
ReplyDeleteI guess the pledge that you don't hate brothas was a little much for me.
thanks for your words of encouragements.